HOW GIRLS RATE GUYS

HOW GIRLS RATE GUYS

GUYS this is how you rate...

Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the trees. The boys don’t want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples that are on the ground that aren’t as good, but easy.

So the apples at the top think there is something wrong with them, when, in reality, they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who’s brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

~ Unknown ~

Danny & his Gal

Dear Coach, I am in love with this gorgeous girl. I am unsure of what she thinks of me. How can I be sure if she thinks of me as just a friend, a good friend, a very good friend, best friend, best of the bestest friend or her special boy friend?

Hopefully, Danny

who's the boss

Danny, my guess is as good as yours. However, out of my personal experience, I should say ALL OF THE ABOVE, ALL AT THE SAME TIME. Hahahaha!

I wish you the best. Do let me know when you find out, I will be eternally grateful. I have been in search of the very same all my life long!

Lets see if my story helps you see some light at the end of the tunnel. As for me, after 7 years all I see is … more of the same tunnel! Hahhaah!!!!

A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the mean time that still doesn’t mean she can’t have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones. ~ Cher ~

Dianne the...%*#@&

Girls’ relationship with guys is a bigger mystery than girls themselves. It’s not just about boyfriends, we’re talking about guy friends that gals have.

Danny, if you are wondering if this gal thinks of you as just a friend or could there possibly be something more? Have you ever been confused why the frequency of her calls increases as her monthly period comes closer? Or why she is forever unavailable during every special occasion like your Birthday, her Birthday, Valentines Days, New Year, Christmas, Friendship Day, every public holiday and Saturday nights?

Or maybe you are wondering why she always hangs around with the moron who isn’t fit to wear George Bush’s pink shoes? Here’s my story for you to diagnose, analyze, dissect, inspect and synthesize (hoping there is a learning point somewhere in the story, even though I have failed to find any).

Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her, when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her? ~ Helen Rowland
 ~

Dianne kissing me (in my Dream)

Well, I can dream, can't I?

JUST A FRIEND

Dev my friend

Well, you are like a show piece in her life. She will call you whenever she needs your help for something or another, or yet another favor from you. You are always a ‘darling’ each time you do ‘this one last favor that will safe my life’.

However, if you call her home, chances are 9 out of 10 times she might say, “Oh Dev, I can’t talk to you right now, I am rushing out the door right this moment. You got me at a wrong time, can you call me like in 2 days?”

Dev:  “Where are you going Dianne?”

Hi Dev...I got to go....

Dianne: “None of your business”, and bangs the phone. (mumbles…”Useless fellow….never leaves me alone… hmmph!”).

Girl Rates Boy: 49%

At your service, ma'am!

Most beautiful but dumb girls think they are smart and get away with it, because other people, on the whole, aren’t much smarter. ~ Louise Brooks
~

GOOD FRIEND

Dev my Good Friend

You are like a TV remote control. She needs you and she knows that and she uses you when she really needs you because you are readily available at her beck and call 24 hours a day.

Dev calls: “Hi Dianne “,

Dianne: “Hi Dev I am going out with my family. I will call you back. Bye”

(Dianne eventually calls back after two days)

Taking Rex for walk...again!

Dianne: “What do you want Dev? Why did you call that day?”.

Dev: “Ummm…I..I thought..I.. “.

Dianne: “Oh ok. I got to go out now. Will call you later. Byeeee.”

Dianne, I am your handy man

Sure she will call back, when she needs you to photostat her lecture notes or needs some concert tickets, or pick up her Notebook from the shop, or take her dog for a walk, or send her sister to the airport, or send her party dress to the laundry, or collect her contact lenses; and the list extends beyond infinity!

Your jacket for your party Dianne

Girl Rates Boy: 45%

Yes Dear...!!!

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT’S relativity. ~ Albert Einstein
~

VERY GOOD FRIEND

Dev my Very Good Friend

Well you are like the pressure cooker safety value for her. She needs you when she wants to bring out her pain, anger or frustration about someone or something. Basically, she wants to talk to you and you are ‘special’ to her.

You have handled enough of her emotional crisis sessions to submit the findings for your thesis. Her issues with her ‘old-fashioned’ parents at home, with her ‘stupid’ boss at work, with her ‘ungrateful’ girl friends, her ‘idiotic’ neighbor, with her ‘ignorant’ night class lecturer, and don’t even get me started about all her ‘dumb’ ex-boyfriends, the ‘bodoh’ taxi divers, the ‘corrupt’ police officers, the ‘useless’ government department officers, the ‘lazy’ hotel staff, the ‘moron’ waitresses and….you must surely be getting my drift by now.

Dianne: “You know Dev, I am so worried. I just don’t know what to do. Please help me Dev. Dev, what should I do? Please tell me what to do.

Dev, let me tell U about...

Dev: “Are you OK Dianne? Why, what’s wrong Dianne?”

Dianne: “No, I am not OK. I lay in bed all night worried sick. Paul is not eating well. He’s not getting enough sleep and is not able to concentrate on his work. He has not shaved for 2 days now. I think he doesn’t like me anymore and yesterday I saw him with another girl”.

Dev tell me what to

Dev, Paul did not shave for 2 whole days

Dev: “Who is Paul?”

Dianne : “My boyfriend.”

Dev: “Oh! OK.” (…oh shit!!!)

I saw Paul with another girl

Girl Rates Boy: 29%

Whatever!!!

There are three things men can do with women: love them, suffer for them, or turn them into literature.

~ Stephen Stills ~

BEST FRIEND

Dev my Best Friend

You are like her favorite Teh Tarik Mamak next to her office. She can’t live without you but don’t be mistaken, you are not her boyfriend. But you are allowed to take her little doggie around the park so that it (not you!) can have fun.

Dev…shopping. Dev…movie. Dev…Coffee Bean. Dev, you pay. I am having fun.

On one such outing at a romantic restaurant, where the lights were low and the prices were high; being now sure that I should go ahead and propose, I took the dare.

Dianne: “Dev, of course you are special. You know you are my best friend. But I thought we were just friends. Lets not spoil what we have here Dev. What we have is so special, almost sacred. We should remain ‘special friends’ Dev, forever!”

(Forever my foot! Forever your slave?)

Dianne: “Dev, Plus, I have a boy friend you know that. As my best friend, are you happy for me?”

(Happy? Happy my left toe up his #*&!!!)

Who's upset?

Dev: “What? Oh… OK! Sure… of course… I am… I am… happy for you.”

(Dev drinks all night… and falls into a drain and breaks his left ankle).

I am not as THINK as you DRUNK I am

Girl Rates Boy: 09%

OMG!

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. ~ Unknown ~

BEST OF THE BESTEST FRIEND

Dev my Bestest Friend

Ok now you know you are really ‘special’ – Special Personal Butler, that is!

You are dad-cum-driver-cum-brother-cum-baby sitter-cum-everything she can think of. In other words, you are the darling servant of the girl.

You taxi her everywhere. (…focus on the fact that you are the only one privileged do that)

You do all her odd jobs. (service is sacred)

You photostat her assignments. (…she will be grateful when she passes her exams)

You are allowed to take her doggie around. (…what an honor)

You may take her car to the car wash and the mechanic, all in the same day.  (Wow! Unbelievable)

You can be the official photographer at all her family functions. (…see, she wants her family to know you exist)

You are the only one trusted enough to give her dog his weekly bath. (…yet another honor)

FU!!!

Even her mum trusts you to pay their house bills. (you lucky devil)

You can walk with her on the beach (as security). (what are you complaining?)

You can see the sun set with her (…because she wants to do everything fun) …and she drags you along, irrespective if its fun for you, regardless if you might have stuff of your own to do.

On the bright side, you feature in every arena of her life.

But…but…but… don’t be mistaken. She has a boyfriend who works for Mac and earns 5 times the salary you earn and has a posh 3-room flat in Mont Kiara; drives a sleek black CLK and has a black belt in Karate.

Dev U r my bestest friend, but I love Paul

Dev, Paul & I are getting engaged

Dianne: “Hi Dev. I am getting engaged to Paul. Paul this is Dev, he is my bestest friend”.

(Not a word about my broken left ankle, much less any sympathy).

Paul, Dev is here

Dev: Hi Paul. (Hand shake. Paul breaks Dev’s wrist).

Dev is now heart broken and wrist broken…with a broken left ankle.

Girl Rates Boy: -39%

Shit!!!

Some men know that a light touch of the tongue, running from a woman’s toes to her ears, lingering in the softest way possible in various places in between, given often enough and sincerely enough, would add immeasurably to world peace. ~ Marianne Williamson, “A Woman’s Worth” ~

BOY FRIEND

Who am I kidding?

Uhhhh… No comments dude. You’re already gone! Quite frankly, way past gone!

BITCH!!!

For all Dev type guys? Make sure that you tell Dianne about Xena and about June… and about Cheryl too… even if they are only imaginary!!!

This should open Dianne’s eyes!!! She thinks she is the only girl in town…

Girl Rates Boy: don’t even ask!!!

Sure God created man before woman.  But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece.

~ Unknown ~

Cheryl here I come...

One Response to “HOW GIRLS RATE GUYS”

  1. I just stumbleupon your blog and i must say what a fantastic website and great posts, I will bookmark your blog.Best Regards! Mark

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