Dear Coach,

As a Salesperson I get a lot of rejections and objections, making me feel like a failure. It sucks all the zap out of life. I at times feel down and defeated, even bordering depression.

I try to reach down within me…but there is nothing there to pull out. What should I be trying to reach within my soul that I could pull out in such trying times that can give me a second wind?


Liana, Manila

Dear Liana,

I suggest you just reach down and pull out your ‘LITTLE HAPPINESS’. Everyone has it, we just need to connect with our ‘LITTLE HAPPINESS’.



‘Within all of us lie untapped wellsprings of strength (resources) that can sustain us in time of trouble. These resources are to last a lifetime.’

The Fact

It’s always like that and for everyone too; we are always between tears and laughter, that is.  Meeting crisis, big and small, in turmoil with hurt feelings, defeated ambitions, unrequited love, grief and loneliness are a part of life’s package for any individual striving for a better quality of life.

The Problem

The problem isn’t that troubles come, but that we don’t know how to meet them. The negative and most popular approach is to run around feverishly from party to party; pub to pub, swallow tranquilizers and barbiturates, lash out at people we care about or cutting people out of our life who truly care, substance abuse, resolutely containing grieves and coming down with psychosomatic illness.

Worse still, we begin to play the ‘Blame Game’. We find refuge in bitterness, accusing other people, life and even God for tripping us up.

That is why it is so important that we should discover what kind of inner resources, what imperishable treasures of mind and heart we have in the bank of Spirit.

95% of people, answering to the question: ‘What do you want to live for?’, are simply waiting for something to happen, i.e. a better job, a new house, a trip, a new relationship, a pay raise, an inheritance etc.

Winners put in time to make things happen, while these ‘poor-me’ people wait for an uncertain tomorrow.

They should realize that waiting for tomorrow wont help – for tomorrow’s sun may never rise.

If you happen to be one of them, the only way for you to take hold of your tomorrows, is to change your Thoughts; that is to do something about it and change your world. For nothing is impossible where there is a will.

The Little Happiness

Most people fail to meet the stresses and strains of life because they never learned to cherish ‘The Little Happiness’ (le petit bonheur) when it comes along. It is too bad; for most lives hold little that is dramatic and overwhelming.

The trick of living- is living in the present. Most of us spend 59 minutes of an hour living in the past, or in the future (that we either long for or dread). The only way to live is by accepting each minute as an unrepeatable miracle, because that’s exactly what it is.

The Little Joys

Examples of these joys: the slow staining of the sea by a pale sunrise when you awake one morning before everyone else and go sit alone on the alter of the beach, a row of baby ducks swimming valiantly behind a pair of mallards- stately as galleons, a branch of rubber wood burning in the fireplace, the wind making silken susurrations in the pines…

The web of life is woven from threads like these. No tread alone is wide enough to encompass a sorrow, but together, they make a shelter that tempers the chill and slows the rain and softens sadness to the point where it can be endured. When recognized and cherished as they come, these small joys build a reservoir of memory against sterile hours.

Though the ‘little happiness’ is transient, a sweet accident; we can cultivate a more enduring resource. It is in our minds that all events happen, all joys live, all sorrows find the philosophy that tempers them. So here is where lies a citadel that cannot be taken, a region of peace where storm cannot enter unless we welcome it.

Sorrows and loneliness cannot be rationalized away, but you can build yourself a kingdom of the mind where life can never fail to be worth living. One way is to grasp the thoughts of others who have enjoyed the beauty of this world before you and have set what they discovered on canvas or in the notes of music or in good books – this is a great consolation.

But the most important factor in the working of this ‘little happiness’ is that you must build up this resource of the mind in times of peace, so that it will be there when you need it.

i.e. …all day sitting on the shore, writing a little, but mostly thinking, finding yourself, (you will one day look back to such a day and say; “I couldn’t have got through so much sorrow if I had not had that day.”)…

…. To be cond…

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